Failure

Smoldering black hole, singed edges

cut so deep you can smell the echo

of where you stand against the ledge

smoldering black hole, singed edges

bursts with bright nothingness to wedge

against weak, shriveled, pit below

smoldering black hole, singed edges

cut so deep you can smell the echo.

 

Poetics Tuesday at dVerse.

 

 

 

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12 comments on “Failure

  1. jillys2016 says:

    The form reflects the feel of this poem so well! Failure and its fallout has that repetitive quality in reality and you captured it! Smell the echo… Nailed this one to the wall, my friend!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. And I read this today when I hear that the singer of Soundgarden has died… Black Hole Sun is one of my favorite songs ever… maybe it’s unintended but that’s where your triolet took me.

    Liked by 2 people

    • colorfulpen says:

      I wrote that last night. Totally unintended, so when I heard this morning that he’d died, and then later I was rereading my poem, it literally gave me chills. I love that song too!

      Like

  3. frankhubeny says:

    I think your line “cut so deep you can smell the echo” describes the feeling of failure well where the echo is something one can smell.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Mish says:

    Oh to smell an echo….love that.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. sanaarizvi says:

    My goodness this is good! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Singledust says:

    cut so deep you can smell the echo

    of where you stand against the ledge

    You write with an image that now cannot leave my mind, I must confess I do write down your poems Lynn and read them off my journal, the simple truths you give such clarity. There are times I feel like I am always looking into my life like a spectator just like that, on the edge on a ledge smelling the singe of a life burning without purpose. Lovely evocative words Lynn.

    Liked by 1 person

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