July Challenge – The Old Hum (Drum)

I

Memory is a prison
A refrigerator buzz
While I make tostadas
A hum over mumbling
Mobsters on the box
A-wandering, mapless
A baroque Sicilian plot

Memory is a prison
Tear stained envelope
With my heart beat stamped
In the corner
Boomerangs back to me
With a final skid
Across the hardwood floor.

 

II

Memory is a prison
A refrigerator hum
While I make tostadas
A hum over mumbling
Mobsters on the box
A-wandering, mapless
A baroque Sicilian plot

Memory is a prison
Distant thunder rolls

Sense of déjà vu seeps in
Can’t find your running shoes
Or the
lost pieces of a puzzle
In a shoebox full of photos

Every seam unravels

Hanging together by thoughts
Steadily breaking free.

 

Here’s my attempt, or rather two of them because I couldn’t decide which one I liked, at completing nosaintaugustine’s poem where she asks us to dig deep and use personal experience as a guide in Jilly’s July Challenge.

I hope I didn’t stray too far from the original spirit.

Collaboration:  Nosaintaugustine / L. Burton

 

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10 comments on “July Challenge – The Old Hum (Drum)

  1. jillys2016 says:

    They are both terrific! That final skid across the hardwood floor gives action to the whole scene. (Verbs rule!) Really taken by your choices of end words in the 2nd one!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. qbit says:

    Both were great, but I think I liked the second one better. I especially liked the running shoes image.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Charley says:

    Both versions were well written and deeply felt. I interposed my own thoughts (usually a sign of positive engagement in a dim bulb like me) towards the end of the second … “In a shoebox full of photos/Every seam unravels….” Several universal truths either stated or scratched along the surface in just these two lines. Poetic.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you for taking this on! I apologize for my late attention, I was traveling and unable to do my usual wordpress games. I was really taken with the image of the envelope with your heartbeat on it boomeranging back to you and skidding across the floor. That, for me, was very vivid action that I could both see and hear. Nicely done!

    Liked by 1 person

    • colorfulpen says:

      No problem at all. I’m glad you liked that. Yours was an excellent first half. I wanted to stick close to the tone and voice. The second one I completed was a bit rambly and I had to cut it back a lot!

      Liked by 1 person

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