Break the Ice

Day 18 of 28 Days of Unreason

Also linked to dVerse. Frank hosts Meeting the Bar and asks us to write poems that use trimeter.
“We were born to be moving water not ice” – Jim Harrison

Stood frozen in place
frozen lake façade
beneath my cold feet
I became aware
of my standing there
unable to move
close to that bold phase
until the cracks formed
from a warm display
rippling forward chance
melts it all away
just to stay alive.
icicles on house 1.15.11
Photo – L. Burton



17 comments on “Break the Ice

  1. qbit says:

    Great way to use “breaking the ice” as an extended metaphor! Extra points for working in “phase”.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great read, flashback to a little Nige stood on a cracking sheet of ice over a mill pond, rooted to the spot thinking ‘Ooops this is getting a bit hairy !”

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Love the originality of thought in these lines:
    “close to that bold phase
    until the cracks formed
    from a warm display
    rippling forward chance”

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Frank Hubeny says:

    This was one quote from Harrison that I could warm up to. Warmth breaking the ice whether real or metaphorical allows life and movement.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. jillys2016 says:

    Ooo – the facade of the frozen lake – that’s good! Also, you have a great verb with rippling forward! This poem has such movement in the face of being frozen in place; great condundrum. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • colorfulpen says:

      Thank you! I liked rippling forward too! Ya know, I was thinking about the verbing nouns thing and how I said it could become lazy writing…yada, yada. I don’t know, I think sometimes it could add something fun and unique, too; just something to play with. And we do love to play with words.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. m.j.smith says:

    I love the way rhyme flows in and around the poem without being formulaic.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Well done. I’m glad you weren’t frozen in time!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. jerennazuto says:

    This is beautiful. The tension in it is exciting. I like it.

    Liked by 1 person

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